Monday, May 28, 2007

I guess I am


Yesterday, Sofia fell of the bed while i was writing an email. Yes its my fault. I shouldve watched her more because i was beside her when it happened. but what hurts the most is that because of what happened, I was branded a bad mother. Its sad really.. its hard to live up to tht standards of my family. I'm sad because although i know that i'm not doing my best, i dont consider myself as a bad mother. I spend my time with her and she is my life. I just dont go around showing it to other people. i dont feel the need to prove myself on how much i love my daughter and its sad really that i have to..


I'm depressed. I really am and although i laugh and joke around and talk to people online, I dont want peole knowing how sad i really am. A friend told me "it happens to the best of us" I may not be the best mother that there is but i try to be.

My mom is very angry at me. i think its unfair that she complains when i dont spend my time with sofia but when i do, she always says out loud that "I'm Sofia's mom, you're just the yaya" and it hurts. it really does. I just dont make a big deal out of it..

I dont know what to do anymore. I try to meet up with my family's standards but i'm soooooo tired..

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